Write the words of this act the way you think they should read. Solon shows your change as a redline against the published text and pins it to that exact text, so it can never be applied to wording you did not see.
Change 1
As published
84 Other definitions
(1) This section defines other expressions used in this Part.
(2) “Consent”, in relation to the processing of personal data relating to an individual, means a freely given, specific, informed and unambiguous indication of the individual's wishes by which the individual, by a statement or by a clear affirmative action, signifies agreement to the processing of the personal data.
(2A) “Designation notice” has the meaning given in section 82A.
(3) “Employee”, in relation to any person, includes an individual who holds a position (whether paid or unpaid) under the direction and control of that person.
(4) “Personal data breach” means a breach of security leading to the accidental or unlawful destruction, loss, alteration, unauthorised disclosure of, or access to, personal data transmitted, stored or otherwise processed.
(5) “Recipient”, in relation to any personal data, means any person to whom the data is disclosed, whether a third party or not, but it does not include a person to whom disclosure is or may be made in the framework of a particular inquiry in accordance with the law.
(6) “Restriction of processing” means the marking of stored personal data with the aim of limiting its processing for the future.
(6A) “Sensitive processing” has the meaning given in section 86(7).
(6B) “Withdrawal notice” has the meaning given in section 82C.
(7) Sections 3 and 205 include definitions of other expressions used in this Part.
Your change, as a redline
84 Other definitions
(1) This section defines other expressions used in this Part.
(2) “Consent”, in relation to the processing of personal data relating to an individual, means a freely given, specific, informed and unambiguous indication of the individual's wishes by which the individual, by a statement or by a clear affirmative action, signifies agreement to the processing of the personal data.
(2A) “Designation notice” has the meaning given in section 82A.
(3) “Employee”, in relation to any person, includes an individual who holds a position (whether paid or unpaid) under the direction and control of that person.
(4) “Personal data breach” means a breach of security leading to the accidental or unlawful destruction, loss, alteration, unauthorised disclosure of, or access to, personal data transmitted, stored or otherwise processed.
(5) “Recipient”, in relation to any personal data, means any person to whom the data is disclosed, whether a third party or not, but it does not include a person to whom disclosure is or may be made in the framework of a particular inquiry in accordance with the law.
(6) “Restriction of processing” means the marking of stored personal data with the aim of limiting its processing for the future.
(6A) “Sensitive processing” has the meaning given in section 86(7).
(6B) “Withdrawal notice” has the meaning given in section 82C.
(7) Sections 3 and 205 include definitions of other expressions used in this Part.
One line that says what changes, such as "Halve the dog tax".
Who it helps, what it costs, what it fixes. It is what persuades people to support it.
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