Employment of Women, Young Persons, and Children Act 1920
Write the words of this act the way you think they should read. Solon shows your change as a redline against the published text and pins it to that exact text, so it can never be applied to wording you did not see.
Change 1
3 Savings.
(1) The provisions of this Act shall be in addition to and not in derogation of any of the provisions of any other Act restricting the employment of . . . , . . . children. (2) Nothing in this Act shall apply to an industrial undertaking or ship in which only members of the same family are employed. (3) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
3 Savings.
(1) The provisions of this Act shall be in addition to and not in derogation of any of the provisions of any other Act restricting the employment of . . . , . . . children. (2) Nothing in this Act shall apply to an industrial undertaking or ship in which only members of the same family are employed. (3) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
One line that says what changes, such as "Halve the dog tax".
Who it helps, what it costs, what it fixes. It is what persuades people to support it.
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Ask what your change would do, who would gain and who would bear a cost, and where something like it is already law. The assistant reads your draft as it stands, cites the law and the studies it finds, and takes no side. What you file stays yours.