Write the words of this act the way you think they should read. Solon shows your change as a redline against the published text and pins it to that exact text, so it can never be applied to wording you did not see.
Change 1
As published
32 Sale of gunpowder to be in closed packages labelled.
All gunpowder exceeding 500 grams in weight, when publicly exposed for sale or sold, shall be in a substantial case, bag, canister, or other receptacle made and closed so as to prevent the gunpowder from escaping, and (except when the same is sold to any person employed by or on the property occupied by the vendor for immediate use in the service of the vendor or on such property,) the outermost receptacle containing such gunpowder shall have affixed the word “gunpowder” in conspicuous characters by means of a brand or securely attached label, or other mark.
If any gunpowder is sold or exposed for sale in contravention of this section—
1. The person selling or exposing for sale the same shall be liable to a penalty not exceeding £2 ; and
2. All or any part of the gunpowder so exposed for sale may be forfeited.
Your change, as a redline
32 Sale of gunpowder to be in closed packages labelled.
All gunpowder exceeding 500 grams in weight, when publicly exposed for sale or sold, shall be in a substantial case, bag, canister, or other receptacle made and closed so as to prevent the gunpowder from escaping, and (except when the same is sold to any person employed by or on the property occupied by the vendor for immediate use in the service of the vendor or on such property,) the outermost receptacle containing such gunpowder shall have affixed the word “gunpowder” in conspicuous characters by means of a brand or securely attached label, or other mark.
If any gunpowder is sold or exposed for sale in contravention of this section—
1. The person selling or exposing for sale the same shall be liable to a penalty not exceeding £2 ; and
2. All or any part of the gunpowder so exposed for sale may be forfeited.
One line that says what changes, such as "Halve the dog tax".
Who it helps, what it costs, what it fixes. It is what persuades people to support it.
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Ask what your change would do, who would gain and who would bear a cost, and where something like it is already law. The assistant reads your draft as it stands, cites the law and the studies it finds, and takes no side. What you file stays yours.